“Viktor Glaser’s Holocaust” Greatest Hits

Below find some choice moments from the screenplay for “Viktor Glaser’s Holocaust.”

Scene 4

IRWIN

Viktor, why did we lose to those buffoons?

VIKTOR

Because they cheated.

IRWIN

Why didn’t you confront them?

VIKTOR

Because now is not the time to make enemies. THEY have nothing to worry about; WE do.

Scene 4

DAISY

Good evening, Mr. Glaser, I’m sorry for intruding.

VIKTOR

Not at all! Why, I haven’t seen you in years, but I’m glad those years are over. Tell me, what grade are you in now?

DAISY

(blushing)

Oh, Mr. Glaser. I just graduated.

VIKTOR

What now?

DAISY

Now I am considering my options.

Scene 4

VIKTOR

Irwin, she’s magnificent! Why have you been hiding her?

IRWIN

Because she’s only 18. And I’m not hiding her, I’m protecting her.

VIKTOR

Maybe all too well. Protecting her from what…………or should I ask, “whom”?

IRWIN

“Whom”: Heinrich, Gunther, Otto, Jurgen and all those other brutes.

Scene 5

VIKTOR

Is this coincidence, or fate?

DAISY

My head says “coincidence;” my heart says “fate.”

VIKTOR

Fate is funny. If you are my fate, I will laugh hard.

DAISY

And if you are my fate, I hope my parents will understand.

Scene 6

DAISY

Viktor, what is going on here?

VIKTOR

Simple. Boy meets girl.

DAISY

At 28 you are hardly a boy.

VIKTOR

And at 18 you are hardly a girl.

DAISY

My PARENTS still treat me like a CHILD.

VIKTOR

They won’t when we are married.

Scene 7

IRWIN

You’re not mature enough for love OR marriage.

DAISY

You think that because to you I am still your little girl. But I am a woman now, with the feelings that women feel, like love, and I love Viktor.

IRWIN

Well, I hope you know what you are doing, because we certainly don’t.

Scene 8

VIKTOR

Mother, Father, I have some good news and some not-so-good news.

LUDMILA

Tell us the good news first, there’s enough bad news in the air………… AND the press.

VIKTOR

The good news is that I’m getting married.

LUDMILA

ZIGMUND, PINCH ME. A CURSE HAS BEEN LIFTED!

ZIGMUND

You’re getting married? To whom? Do you have someone in mind? You can’t just GET MARRIED. You have to marry someone IN PARTICULAR.

Scene 8

VIKTOR

(strongly)

We must leave here NOW! The Nazis have grotesque plans for us, scarier than a horror movie. Cousin Pepik heard Hitler speak at a rally in Berlin and fled to Paris.

Scene 8

LUDMILA

What’s the worst that the Nazis could do to your father and me, starve us, beat us, kill us?…………

VIKTOR

…………Exactly.

Scene 9

RACHEL

Daisy says they’re in love, and who am I to argue.

LUDMILA

I argued with Viktor, but he won the

argument!

RACHEL

He won’t win any arguments with my Daisy. I don’t. She’s fierce.

Scene 11

PAVEL

Tell me again why German boots are on Czech soil.

MAREK

Because might makes right. Uncle Adolf is a strong man who will rid us of these bloodsucking Hebrews. The German economy is humming, and the trains run on time.

Scene 13

HORST

(angry)

Do you know a Mr. Schwarz?

VIKTOR

(Defiantly)

I doubt that you hail from around here, but ‘Schwarz’ is a common name in these parts. Which Mr. Schwarz would you like me to know?

Scene 15

VIKTOR

I was told this place doesn’t allow visitors.

DAISY

It doesn’t. But it allows bribes. (Pause) Are you behaving?

VIKTOR

Yes…………badly. When I talk back, which you know I can’t help, they beat me. But self-pity is not in my nature, and I will fight this despicable regime with all my strength.

DAISY

And when that runs out?

VIKTOR

Then with laughter. The absurdity of it all is right out of Kafka.

Scene 15

VIKTOR

Franta and I were self-employed by our own non-profit corporation.

KURT

Nonsense. Do you think I am a fool?

Viktor just stares at him.

Scene 16

LUDMILA

Daisy, sweetie, you get married, and the next thing you know your husband is in prison. No honeymoon period…………and no honeymoon, period.

ZIGMUND

Ludmila and I went to Vienna and had more fun than you should know from, didn’t we, dear?

LUDMILA

Oh, Zigmund! That was so long ago.

ZIGMUND

But so fresh in my memory.

DAISY

I’m sure Viktor and I will get to go away. Maybe not to Vienna or Paris, but somewhere. I can’t tell you how much I love him.

ZIGMUND

You just did.

Scene 19

DAISY

Viktor, dear, how did you learn English?

VIKTOR

The same way I learned French and German: my father sent me abroad to England, France, and Germany to learn the business. He always said, “You can BUY in ANY language, but you can only SELL in THEIR language.”

DAISY

When you were in England, France, and Germany did you speak English, French, or German to any of the local girls?

VIKTOR

No, I spoke Czech, because I wasn’t buying OR selling.

DAISY

You may be Prague’s preeminent bridge player, but I’m the one with the luck of the draw.

Scene 20

NIKOLAI

Zigmund, aren’t you a little long in the tooth to be running away from home?

ZIGMUND

Not if I was forcibly evicted.

NIKOLIA

Evicted? Why?! Couldn’t come up with the rent?

ZIGMUND

Already paid. But Prague is suffering from a severe housing shortage for Nazis; lots of fascist newcomers need a roof over their head.

Scene 21

VIKTOR

With Goyim help and Jewish hospitality, we will live like royalty! Now, which corner of the room can we have?

Scene 22

DAISY

I understand you’re good at bridge, too.

VIKTOR

I’m only as good as my partner.

DAISY

Is my father a good partner?

VIKTOR

You’ll have to ask your mother.

Scene 22

EMIL

“Incident. 16A Slonimsky Street. Window shattered. Owners Jewish. Perpetrators unknown. Case closed.”

Scene 25

ZIGMUND

Viktor, why did you insist that we go back to Votice to bury the money? Couldn’t we have done that somewhere closer than 60 kilometers from Prague?

VIKTOR

Prague is crawling with soldiers and spies; they haven’t crawled to Votice yet. Besides, if I have to start my life a second time, I want it to be where I started it the first time.

ZIGMUND

Son, your thoughts could confound a rabbi.

Scene 25

ZIGMUND

We came to borrow a shovel.

JANSEN

(coyly)

You came all the way from Prague to Votice to borrow a shovel? I knew about clothing, cigarettes, coffee, and chocolate, but shovels?

ZIGMUND

(matter-of-factly)

We are going to use it here, in Votice.

JANSEN

I get it, you are working for the Gestapo, and they sent you here to kill me and bury my body with the shovel.

ZIGMUND

Yes, it’s something like that.

Scene 25

JANSEN

I hope that whomever you’ve come to bury is good and dead. If not, dig three feet deeper.

Scene 25

VIKTOR

Father, what’s the blessing for the burying of money?

ZIGMUND

“Please, God, let it be here when we return.”

VIKTOR

(laughing)

What would we do without the Talmud?!

Scene 28

HERMANN

Are you crazy?

VIKTOR

No, we are family.

Scene 28

DAISY

Aren’t you Jirina Krasa?

JIRINA KRASA

Supposing I am, will that make you happy or unhappy?

DAISY

Both. Happy finally to meet you in person. Unhappy that someone of your station in life has to endure this. My friends and I all know that your family owns the Grand Hotel Europa. We all want to be you.

JIRINA

“Owned,” and you can end the envy right now.

Scene 28

LUDMILA

Now, Dear, things could be worse.

ZIGMUND

How? This car could catch fire? I could catch pneumonia? You could file for divorce.

LUDMILA

No, worse than all that. I have to pee. I’ve been holding it in for hours. Where will we, you know, “go”?

Scene 28

KAREL

The stench is sickening.

VIKTOR

They say you can get used to anything.

KAREL

“They” are not in this cattle car.

Scene 29

MADELEINE

If the train turned right from North, then we are heading East. I’m bad at geography but good at bridge.

Scene 30

VIKTOR

Where’s the rest of it?

GERTY

You’ll get the rest of it in 12 hours; it’s called “dinner.”

VIKTOR

What’s for dinner?

GERTY

You’re looking at it.

Scene 30

VIKTOR

(Whispers to Daisy only)

We are no longer humans, we are sardines.

DAISY

(Whispers to Viktor only)

Hug me, darling. Let’s be happy sardines.

Scene 31

AHRON

(speaking Yiddish)

How many people in your car died?

AMELIA

(speaking Polish)

I will never forget that stench.

ANNALIESE

(speaking Dutch)

I need a bathroom before I soil myself again.

KLAUDIA

(speaking Slovakian)

And I thought YOU packed the toilet paper.

TOBIAS

(speaking German)

Some of us fought for Germany in The Great War!

MIRABELLE

(speaking French)

You did WHAT with our money?

EDITH

(speaking Czech)

I would give anything, ANYTHING, to be back in Karvina.

Scene 32

VIKTOR

Our sacred obligation is to stay alive; and with God’s help, that will be our final victory over darkness. We will organize committees overseeing food, clothing, housing, and health. No one will starve to death, no one will be alone, and NO ONE WILL EVER GIVE UP. NO ONE! EVER! Our survival will show the world that love is stronger than hate. Now let’s get to work.

Scene 33

HEDDY

Please Mr. Glaser. You said our duty is to stay alive. My husband is wasting away; without more food he will die. Just a few apples; some carrots; a piece of meat. FOOD OR DEATH!

Scene 34

FEDOR

Viktor’s speech was bullshit. Everyone cooped up here is always cold, hungry and tired. You can stay in this shit-hole and congratulate yourselves on remaining alive another week. I’m abandoning this stinking ship.

Scene 35

EMMERICH

Citizens of Lodz’s most exclusive district. The prisoners behind me tried to smuggle a radio to hear what is going on in the world, which is that Germany will soon win the war. But Pinky and Dinky here won’t be around to celebrate.

Scene 36

KAREL

Have you noticed that nobody who leaves here ever returns? My advice is, “stay put no matter what.”

VIKTOR

But what if they point a Mauser at my head?

KAREL

Then my advice changes……drastically. Get your tuchus on the next train, tout suite, as the French say.

Scene 37

DAVID

I feel sorry for you guys. Life is tough. Dragging dead Jews. Far away from home for the first time. Miss your family. Up at 5:00 AM. Endless, boring guard duty. Fighting for a maniac with an ugly mustache. Bad smells and worse food. No beer, no bratwurst. And worst of all, the local girls won’t even give you horny bastards the time of day.

Scene 37

DAISY

Alright Czech Churchill, why the sour face? Not enough people joined the clothing committee? The rats got to the bread basket?

VIKTOR

The Lublin Transport returned empty. The engineer said that the prisoners were marched off into a field. I’m sorry.

DAISY

(stiffens)

At 23 I became an only child and then an orphan. Will I become a widow next?

VIKTOR

No, Daisy, my will to live is stronger than their will to kill.

Scene 38

ZIGMUND (CONT’D)

Viktor, when I am gone don’t let me be buried in Poland, on this foreign, cursed, blood-soaked soil. Bury me in Prague, next to the graves of my ancestors. And please, I want to look good in repose; I am not an Oxford University professor, so shave my beard.

Scene 38

VIKTOR

Father, you are on the mend.

ZIGMUND

If this is the mend, I don’t want to be around for the unraveling. I am going to sleep. If I wake up tomorrow, that will be a good sign. And if I don’t wake up tomorrow, that will be a better sign.

Scene 38

VIKTOR

(solemnly; addressing the grave)

Baruch atah Hashem Eloheinu Melech Haolam. Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe. Father, we have no coffin, and no way to get you back to Prague. Still, I will make it my business to return your remains to our homeland for eternity. But please do not move from LX 303, I don’t want to have to dig up more than one grave to find you.

Scene 41

DAISY

Lodz was hideous, but at least we were together. What will we do if we are separated?

VIKTOR

(lightheartedly)

We are inseparable.

DAISY

Viktor, just this once can you be serious?

VIKTOR

(lightheartedly)

If I were serious I’d be as miserable as everybody else. Somebody around here has to think positive, for balance, if for no other reason.

DAISY

This is just what I mean. You are incorrigible. I would hate you if I didn’t love you.

Scene 41

DAISY

Finally, fresh air.

JIRINA

(sniffing)

This air has a peculiar odor; I can’t place it, but I would NOT describe it as “FRESH.”

Scene 41

MENGELE

Are you twins? I could use more of those. Or homosexuals? I could use fewer of those. Over there, swine.

Scene 42

FERDINAND

(talking to himself)

Mixing human ashes with horse manure makes a fantastic fertilizer. My tomatoes taste heavenly. Something good is coming out of all this.

Scene 43

AUSCHWITZ COMMANDANT RUDOLF HOSS

Welcome to Auschwitz. My men and I are proud of this place. Make sure you don’t ruin its reputation. Like the sign says, “work will set you free.” If you can’t or won’t work, we’ll kill you. If you defy us, or we just feel like it, we’ll kill you. You don’t have to like us, and I doubt that you will, but you have to obey us.

Scene 43

VIKTOR
(To his server)

Where are the spoons?

FRUMA

The guards have spoons; but if you ask for one you’re likely to get a knife, understand?

Scene 43

WILHELM

Well, 6345789, that bowl of crap you’re slurping has to feed both of us. You’ve had your share.

SAMUEL

Says who?

WILHELM

(Rolling up his sleeve)

Says 8675309, that’s who. Give me the fuckin’ bowl, or I’ll kill you and save the Nazis the trouble.

Scene 43

VIKTOR (V.O.)

(we see the letters/words being typed)

By the time I arrived at Auschwitz, in August of 1944, tattooing had stopped. There were just too many of us, and anyway, what was the point of tattooing people you were about to kill and incinerate. So, to the Germans, we went from being names to being numbers to being one big mass of smelly flesh.

Scene 45

HOSS

The men are on sale, only 145 Reichsmarks each.

JURGEN

Are you selling or are you extorting? You’re as crazy as that Austrian corporal. You should be paying me to take these men off your hands.

HOSS

Selling slaves offends my deep sensitivity…………

JURGEN

(pointing to smoke from the crematoria chimneys)

And that doesn’t?

HOSS (CONT’D)

…………for which I need to be handsomely compensated. Money for men. They can work in the munitions factories, so I’ll be helping the war effort.

JURGEN

You’ll be lining your own pockets.

Scene 46

HERBERT

The Hebrew Bible, the Torah, says, “Thou shalt not kill.”

ALFRED

The German Bible, Mein Kampf, says, “Kill or be killed.”

Scene 49

GERHARD

The war on the Eastern Front is not going well.

HOSS

Fool, the war on all fronts is not going well. Those clownish Americans are arriving in force. They can’t fight worth a damn, not like Germans, but their numbers and supplies are endless.

GERHARD

The Americans are weak beer; their prison camps are like country clubs.

GOTTFRIED

The Russians are strong Vodka; their prison camps don’t exist…………because they don’t take prisoners.

Scene 50

KAREL

What did you save for tomorrow, and the day after that?

VIKTOR

Nothing.

KAREL

Didn’t your teachers tell you, “Always save something for later”?

VIKTOR

I must have been home sick that day. Anyway, I could die tonight, so what’s the point of saving for tomorrow? Besides, this way nobody can steal my salami.

Scene 52

VIKTOR

The barbarity of these depraved people no longer shocks me. I will never forgive the Germans, and I will hate them until I die.

KAREL

May you live a long life.

VIKTOR

Why do you suppose Facism arose in Germany rather than, say, Sweden or Switzerland?

KAREL

Geography is destiny. Germany has harsh winters and rocky soil, so simply surviving is difficult. Over the centuries nationalism and militarism flourished. Or maybe the Germans are just nuts for no particular reason.

Scene 53

VIKTOR (CONT’D)

(to himself)

With the allies approaching, dying now would be tragic. No, worse, it would be stupid. I will grovel. I will lick their boots and kiss their butts. And I will SURVIVE!

Scene 54

HAROLD

Fool, do you want to be the war’s final victim?

ASSAF

Someone has to be.

HAROLD

Walk or die.

ASSAF

What have I done to deserve death? Been born Jewish? Been circumcised? Stolen some cand? Received a red-carded for a vicious foul? Flunked algebra? Overcharged a few customers. Not converted to Christianity. Lusted for a few shiksas?

Scene 55

VIKTOR

We owe our survival to the miracle of God.

KAREL

Some miracle! Some God! Millions dead. Cities pulverized. Families torn asunder. “God, if you exist, prove it. Kill Nazis. Free me and Viktor. Or just give us a roast leg of lamb to eat.”

VIKTOR

God exists, he’s just not to be found in concentration camps.

KAREL

God does not exist. And if he does, he hasn’t been paying close attention. Was a roast leg of lamb too much to ask for?

ARIE

Hey, guys, shut the fuck up. I don’t know whether the Nazis believe in God or not, from the looks of things, “not,” but they sure as hell believe in respect, which your silly kibitzing ain’t showing.

Scene 57

TILMAN

Hey old man, can you walk?

ISAAC

No, you’ll have to carry me.

TILMAN

We’re not allowed to do that.

ISAAC

Then can you at least let me die in peace?

TILMAN

No, we’re not allowed to do that, either.

ISAAC

Then go fuck yourself and go to hell, you Nazi piece of shit.

TILMAN

(after shooting Isaac in the head)

Sorry old man. But I did enjoy our brief conversation, at least until it turned crude, for what that’s worth.

Scene 58

KAREL

I have five slices of salami. My salami for your key.

JASPER

What’s worth more; salami or freedom?

KAREL

Depends on how hungry you are.

JASPER

Just like they taught me, “Evil, but clever.”

Scene 60

PRISONERS

(Greek chorus style)

Americans. George Washington. Abraham Lincoln. Franklin Roosevelt. Charles Lindbergh. The Empire State Building. Broadway. Jazz. Coca-Cola. Lucky Strikes.

Scene 62

LUTHER

Daisy returned to Prague in relatively good shape and went looking for you all over town. Everyone said you were dead, but she refused to believe it. Something about, “that can’t be.” The third time she checked in with me I told her, “There’s no use.” She said, “I will never believe that because it’s not true” and stormed out.

VIKTOR

Where can I find her?

LUTHER

Where did you lose her?

VIKTOR

THE MAUTNER RESIDENCE, OF COURSE!

Scene 63

VIKTOR

My name is Viktor Glaser. I was on a journey for a few years, but I’ve come back to find my wife.

MASHA

What kind of girl are you looking for, Sonny? I have a few attractive widows on my roster, lost their men in the recent difficulties.

VIKTOR

No, you don’t understand. I’m already married. I’m looking for my wife Daisy, Daisy Kars Glaser. She’s looking for me.

MASHA

Oh, her. Comes here religiously every day. Has the optimism of youth. She looks more like your daughter than your wife, but who am I to judge? I told her I could find her a new husband even though not many of you guys came back from that journey, but she wasn’t the least bit interested. She was sure that YOU would return.

Scene 63

What happened to your dance partner, the man with the cane?

MASHA

Damned if that German Officer didn’t know what he was talking about. You ARE never too old. That dance led to love, love-making, and marriage. Julius didn’t know how to ride a horse, but, by golly, a year later he died in the saddle.

VIKTOR

(astounded)

I’m sorry for your loss.

MASHA

Don’t be, Sonny, don’t be; it was all gain, ALL GAIN.

Scene 63

GERTRUDE (CONT’D)

(shouting)

Daisy, somebody is here to see you.

DAISY

(surprised and shouting)

See me? Who would want to see me? My parents are dead. My brother is dead. My friends are dead. My husband hasn’t returned yet. (Pause) If God himself is here to see me, I wish he had come sooner. Six years ago would have been nice. (Pause) Male or female?

GERTRUDE

Which would you prefer?

DAISY

Female. I’m already married; I’m married to Viktor Glaser and I always will be.

GERTRUDE

Male.

DAISY

Does he know I’m married?

GERTRUDE

Yes, but he still wants to see you.

DAISY

Men can be so persistent. (Pause) Maybe whoever HE is can tell me where VIKTOR is.

GERTRUDE

There’s no harm in asking.

Scene 63

DAISY

How?

VIKTOR

Faith in God. Determination to stay alive. Love for you. And luck that I wasn’t gassed to death, burnt to a crisp, and used as fertilizer.

Scene 64

ALEKSANDER

Where are you and your sisters headed?

JIRINA

We never know where we’re headed, we only know where we’ve been.

ALEKSANDER

OK, where’ve you been?

JIRINA

Auschwitz. You’ve heard of it?

ALEKSANDER

You can’t kill that many people in secret.

Scene 65

DAISY

You knew, didn’t you?

VIKTOR

No. But I resolved never to show my fear to you, to my parents, and most of all not to the Germans.

DAISY

I’m glad you’re telling me now, not then.

Scene 68

I have described, without exaggeration, only part of what I experienced these last six years. If you see Nazi barbarism in a movie, please believe it. If I hadn’t lived through all this, I wouldn’t believe it myself. I still don’t, although every word is true, and the truth must be told…………and heard…………and remembered.